I am not the best. Nope. In fact, keeping up with multiple things I have had a lot of change in the last year. Lets see the tally:
How many Jobs I quit :2
How many jobs I have started: 1
Moved: 1 time
Changed roommates: 1 time (for so much better situation)
Dated: 1 guy, and 1 get to know you date.
Broken up with: 1 guy… the get to know you date was a bust (and thank God for it)
Deaths: 1 aunt.
I am ready for good things. I have cried out in pain and agony over the loss of the 1 guy as I really did care deeply for him. He just… “didn’t have the time for me” and “wants to be friends”. We’ll see how that plays out. Cause does that ever really happen? Right now I just feel at a loss. I am thriving and feeling great in the workplace, but in relationship to myself and with potential guys… I seriously am lacking. I have turned off facebook for awhile, cause honestly I can’t take it anymore. I can’t see others happy parts of their lives. I feel like FOMO (fear of missing out) is creeping in. I feel like jealously is around the corner. Reality is I need to focus on watering my own lawn. And look inward to what issues I am dealing with.
I hope that you will take a step back and realize what is important. I hope that you don’t get sucked into what you do not have. It is a very painful place to be. I hope that I to can take care of myself and find great joy in finding who I am and what i love to do now that I have 1 job, a regular routine, a great community and many more blessings.
Good luck in your journey. If you are on the otherside with marriage and babies… I am glad for you.. But right now, it is incredibly painful for me to not be there too. I would not have chosen this path. It is where I am at though and need to embrace it and find the good in it as well.